Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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