my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
