I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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