Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
