New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
