I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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