if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
