Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
It's not a walk of shame if you run
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
