Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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