He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
i need some magic done to my vagina
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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