So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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