if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Randomize
