If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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