I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize