he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
