I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
