I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
