hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You made out with two different species that night
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize