I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
