He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
