i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
