How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Sorry my hands just texted you
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
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