i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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