I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
