; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
