ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
