Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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