Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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