he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
