You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Randomize
