Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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