its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
