I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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