i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
