U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
