I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
