sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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