I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
