I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
