obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
