eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
