sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
