i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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