This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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