Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
