the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
