I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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