Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
