Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
