Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
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