Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
