By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
