escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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