Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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